Worth Having

You're not failing - you're grieving: what nobody tells you about moving abroad

In this vulnerable and truth-telling episode, Nic (belonging researcher) and Natalia (psychotherapist) talk about the unique texture of expat friendship: urgent, sometimes deep, often short-lived — and always shaped by the invisible emotional labor of starting over. This episode is a must for anyone living abroad, working in HR, or supporting globally mobile talent. We unpack why expat friendship feels different, what grief hides behind even a “good relocation,” and how connection can be made more sustainable across cultures.
Shownotes:
[00:03:21] – Why expat friendships start fast — and often end just as fast
[00:09:21] – “You’re not depressed — you’re grieving the life you chose not to live.”
[00:17:10] – The cultural ‘codes’ of friendship and how they vary country to country
[00:23:45] – Why loneliness persists, even with a social life
[00:28:02] – What HR and leadership usually miss in onboarding international talent
[00:35:27] – How to offer empathy without pity or overstepping
[00:41:50] – What rituals, habits, and ‘sameness’ can do for stability abroad
[00:49:03] – Identity loss, partner dynamics, and emotional exhaustion in new countries
[00:58:33] – Hopeful ways to reframe disconnection, without rushing the process

When friendship turns shallow and weird - how to get deep and past the small talk again.

You used to feel close. Now it’s all surface-level check-ins and recycled stories. And you know: if we don't turn this around now, we won't be friends much longer anymore.This episode is your invitation to stop pretending and start rebuilding real connection. I sat down with my sister—not as family, but as a friend—to see what happens when you drop the small talk and hold space for what’s actually there. It’s quiet, raw, and sometimes awkward—and that’s exactly the point. Plus: you can grab the exact questions I used to go deeper.

Why Male Friendships Feel Lonely - Conversation with a psychotherapist

This episode began as a conversation about male friendships—but it unfolded into something much deeper. Belonging researcher Nic and psychotherapist Matt Hussey explore how our early childhood shapes our understanding of connection, the invisible social scripts men and women inherit, and why so many adults are quietly suffering from a profound lack of friendship. From the loneliness inside romantic relationships to the transformative power of a neighborly chat, this is a deeply human discussion about what it means to truly belong.

How ECOtherapy heals the ache of disconnection

Friendship Breakups. Emotional Loneliness. Healing Without Words.In this episode, belonging researcher Nic and ecotherapist Natalia Szyszka guide you through the quiet, often overlooked pathways back to connection after a friendship ends—through trees, water, wind, and stillness. This is not a conversation about plants. It’s a conversation about belonging, grieving, and reconnecting to something that won’t abandon you.Whether you're in the middle of heartbreak, burnout, or just feeling socially untethered, this episode offers an invitation: what if nature was the most trustworthy friend you’ve never turned to?[01:00]You’re Not Depressed—You’re Grieving a Life That Can’t Love You BackWhat if what we call sadness is just an unmet need for connection—with the world itself?In a world obsessed with progress, we’ve lost sight of the emotional cost of disconnection. If you're feeling lost after a friendship ends or a life transition, this segment reframes emotional pain as evolutional wisdom—and offers a radically grounding perspective. [07:00]Nature Isn’t “Nice”—It’s NecessaryThe mountains, the ocean, even the wind—these aren’t metaphors. They’re medicine.We challenge the idea that peace comes only from people or therapists. There is ancient biological memory inside you that knows how to feel safe—this conversation will help you find it again.[14:00]The Tree Doesn’t Judge You, and That’s Why You HealCould nature offer the emotional safety many relationships can't?Natalia shares how non-human connection can ease emotional pain after rejection, loneliness, or rupture. This is not detachment—it’s reconnection on different terms. If you’ve been hurt by someone close, this will help you feel seen and less alone.[19:00]Urban Loneliness Is a Design Flaw, Not a Personal FailureWhy we should stop blaming individuals for feeling isolated in environments built to disconnect us.Learn how to rethink your mental health not as a personal weakness but as a natural response to unnatural conditions. This will give you language—and agency—to seek healing in radically different ways.25:00]Friendship Isn’t Always Human: Relearning How to Feel AccompaniedCould walking through a forest replace a coffee with a friend? Not quite—but almost.If you’ve lost a connection and feel unsure how to begin again, this segment offers a gentle roadmap to co-regulation, self-reflection, and belonging without performance. A powerful segment for anyone healing from disconnection. [32:00]Don’t Just Heal—Reclaim Your Place in Something BiggerHow letting go of being the “main character” creates freedom, not loneliness.The final portion introduces practices you can use right now—walks, rituals, even how you listen—that reduce pressure, increase presence, and invite new relationships (with people, places, or the planet). You'll leave this episode not just with calm, but with clarity.🔗 Share this episode with someone who:Is grieving a lost friendship or relationshipFeels disconnected and doesn’t know how to begin healingLives in a city and is quietly burning outNeeds to remember they belong—even in silence

How to break up with friends - the last act of friendship.

Friendships end. And unlike romantic breakups, we don’t have a script for how to do it right. So we ghost. We drift. We pretend nothing’s wrong—until one day, we realize we haven’t spoken in years.In this raw, unfiltered episode, we tackle:✔ **The 7-Year Friendship Rule**—Why half your social circle naturally fades (and why that’s okay)✔ **The "Rejectability" Mindset**—How being open to rejection (or doing the rejecting) frees you from people-pleasing✔ **The Art of the Clean Breakup**—How to end things with integrity, not resentment✔ **When to Walk Away vs. When to Fight for It**—The difference between a friendship worth saving and one that’s run its courseWhy Listen?If you’ve ever felt stuck in a fading friendship—or been blindsided by a "we need to talk"—this episode gives you the **tools to let go with dignity** and the **courage to start fresh**.Backed by real-life stories, psychological insights, and hard-won wisdom.Hit play if you’re ready to stop drifting apart—and start breaking up like an adult.

Friendship Detox: How to Let Go of Toxic Bonds & Cultivate Real Connections

Most friendships are great, but a few are not. Ever felt stuck in a friendship that drains you? Research shows we lose half our social circle every 7 years—but what if you’re holding onto the wrong people?Why Listen?If you’ve ever felt torn between loyalty and self-preservation, this episode gives you the clarity to evaluate, release, and rebuild friendships that truly align with who you’re becoming. Are you ready to face the hard-hitting questions to test the real strength of your friendships and the your motives on why to you want to end them? Learn how to spot empty words and recognize true support. As well as other powerful self-reflection tools to decide whether a friendship is worth keeping. Find out how to make tough decisions with confidence and without guilt.In this self-leadership episode, we dive into:✔ The Michelangelo Effect: How the right friends sculpt your best self (and how the wrong ones chip away at your confidence)✔ The 3 Pillars of Friendship: Proximity, time, and energy—why some bonds thrive while others fade✔ The Brutal Truth About Friendship Drift: How to let go without guilt when people outgrow each other✔ A Hard-Hitting Self-Test: If your friend couldn’t speak, would their actions still make you feel loved?Hit play if you’re ready to stop people-pleasing and start cultivating friendships that actually fuel your growth.Discover how to navigate the natural evolution of friendships without guilt or regret. Learn to embrace change and make room for deeper, more meaningful connections.Find out how the right friendships shape your best self—and how the wrong ones can quietly erode your confidence. Learn to recognize who truly uplifts you.Understand the hidden forces that make or break friendships. Gain clarity on why some connections thrive while others fade—and what you can do about it.Are you ready to face the hard-hitting questions to test the real strength of your friendships and the your motives on why to you want to end them? Learn how to spot empty words and recognize true support. As well as other powerful self-reflection tools to decide whether a friendship is worth keeping. Find out how to make tough decisions with confidence and without guilt.Show Notes: Evaluating Friendships – The Uncomfortable Truths[00:00:00] "Half Your Friends Will Be Gone in 7 Years—Are You Ready to Let Go?"Discover how to navigate the natural evolution of friendships without guilt or regret. Learn to embrace change and make room for deeper, more meaningful connections.[00:02:30] "The Michelangelo Effect: Are Your Friends Sculpting You or Cracking YouFind out how the right friendships shape your best self—and how the wrong ones can quietly erode your confidence. Learn to recognize who truly uplifts you.[00:03:30] "Proximity, Time, Energy: The 3 Pillars of Friendship—Is Yours Built on Sand?"Understand the hidden forces that make or break friendships. Gain clarity on why some connections thrive while others fade—and what you can do about it.[00:07:18] "She Said, 'You Left Me, So I Moved On'—The Brutal Truth About Friendship Drift"Learn how to handle the painful but necessary process of friendship endings. Discover how to let go with grace and avoid resentment.[00:13:33] "If Your Friend Couldn’t Speak, Would Their Actions Still Make You Feel Loved?"Are you ready to face the hard-hitting questions to test the real strength of your friendships and the your motives on why to you want to end them? Learn how to spot empty words and recognize true support. As well as other powerful self-reflection tools to decide whether a friendship is worth keeping. Find out how to make tough decisions with confidence and without guilt.

What if AI doesn’t steal our jobs, but our friends?

Is AI our friend? Or might it 'steal us' from our friends? Rethinking Connection, Health & Tech DependencyIs AI just a tool—or is it becoming a stand-in for our friendships, health systems, and emotional needs? In this episode, Nic Scholtysik sits down with global health researcher Jess Haney Lavelle to explore how artificial intelligence is already reshaping the way we think, feel, and connect. They dig into the emotional and ethical implications of conversational AI, the hidden costs of convenience, and how tech might be making us lonelier—even when it pretends to be our “friend.”Expect big questions, honest doubts, and a critical lens on whether AI is serving us—or we’re serving it.SHOW NOTES:[03:22] The Myth of AI as a Replacement for Human Thinking- Why believing AI can replace human thinking is a dangerous misconception.[05:45] The Power of AI as a Thought Partner- How can AI be used to enhance your thinking and feeling processes?[08:10] The Pitfalls of Humanizing AI- Why does treating AI like a human lead to over-reliance and missed opportunities?[12:45] AI and Emotional Awareness: The Key to Authentic Work- How can AI help you become more emotionally aware and authentic in your work?[15:00] The Art of Letting AI Prompt You: A New Approach to Creativity- What is the art of letting AI prompt you, and how can it enhance your creativity?[19:45] The Future of Work: AI as a Collaborative Tool- What does the future of work look like with AI as a collaborative tool?[24:30] The Role of AI in Enhancing Human Connection- How can AI enhance human connection and foster deeper relationships?[29:00] AI and the Evolution of Leadership- How is AI transforming the role of leadership in organizations?[33:45] AI as a Catalyst for Personal Growth and Resilience- How can AI serve as a catalyst for personal growth, resilience, and self-improvement?[38:15] Balancing AI and Human Interaction for Authentic Connections- How can we balance the use of AI with human interaction to maintain authentic connections?[42:45] The Ethical Considerations and Future of AI in Friendship and Collaboration- What are the ethical considerations of using AI in friendships and professional relationships, and what does the future hold for AI and human collaboration?

Boundaries and work-life-balance: we were never meant to compartmentalize, but to integrate.

You can't 'protect' your mental health by setting boundaries - yes, it might seem like the obvious way to avoid burnout, but what if I told you that this strategy could actually run you right into it? The best way to avoid burnout isn't to shield yourself from stress but to expose yourself to it. Let me explain...In this episode, we dive deep into the counterintuitive approach to building resilience and avoiding burnout. You'll discover why embracing your stressors is the key to long-term mental health and how rigid boundaries can backfire. We'll explore the science behind resilience, the dangers of avoidance, and practical steps you can take to build a stronger, more resilient you.Join us as we apply the concept of 'friendship' to stressors and how it reframes tension to 'I-can-deal-with-this' attitude. You'll learn how to turn challenges into opportunities for growth and how to nourish your mental health in a way that truly protects you from burnout.Don't miss out on this game-changing episode that could save your sanity. Tune in now and let's start building your resilience together.SHOW NOTES:[02:22] Mastering Work-Life Balance: The Surprising Power of Emotional FlexibilityDiscover why work-life balance isn't about shutting the door on work but about opening the door to flexibility.[04:30] The Hidden Dangers of Workplace Loneliness and How to Combat ItExplore the impact of loneliness at work and how friendliness can be the antidote.[06:38] Burnout: The Silent Killer and How Emotional Flexibility Can Save Your CareerLearn the signs of burnout and how it can sneak up on you.[08:18] The Art of Inclusivity: Creating a Welcoming Place Without Sacrificing Your SanctuaryLearn how to maintain personal boundaries while fostering an inclusive environment.[10:28] Turning Colleagues into Friends: The Unexpected Teachers in Your WorkplaceExplore the potential of workplace relationships to become meaningful friendships.[12:38] The Power of Friendliness: Why It Matters More Than You ThinkLearn practical tips for cultivating friendliness and building stronger connections with your colleagues.[14:48] Navigating Workplace Drama: How to Stay Sane and ProductiveGet practical advice on how to avoid getting sucked into workplace drama.Learn strategies for setting boundaries and protecting your emotional wellbeing.[16:58] The Importance of Self-Awareness in Managing Workplace RelationshipsLearn how to trust your instincts and make decisions that align with your values and needs.[19:08] From Burnout to Balance: The Journey to Emotional FlexibilityDiscover the steps to transition from burnout to a more balanced and fulfilling work-life dynamic.[21:18] The Role of Work Friends in Your Career: Helping or Hurting?Learn how to navigate the complexities of workplace friendships and maintain healthy boundaries.

What your reaction to office conflict reveals about you. Zodiac Edition

Step into the celestial theater of workplace chaos! This laugh-out-loud episode explores how zodiac signs manifest in office drama - from Aries storming meetings like action heroes to Scorpio turning thermostat wars into cold-blooded vendettas.But this isn't just astrology for entertainment. After the cosmic comedy comes practical psychology - understanding why conflict happens, how drama serves as a cry for validation, and science-backed techniques to transform workplace tension into growth opportunities.🔍 In Part 1: Witness three hilarious workplace scenarios featuring all 12 zodiac signs acting out their unique brands of drama:The never-ending team meeting starring Aries, Cancer, Virgo & SagittariusThe office thermostat wars with Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio & AquariusThe group project power struggle featuring Leo, Capricorn, Libra & Pisces✨ In Part 2: Discover the psychology behind workplace drama:Why conflict is inevitable in human interactionsThe anatomy of drama and what we're really seeking beneath the chaosPractical conflict resolution strategies using perspective-taking and compassionSelf-reflection questions to transform how you approach difficult colleaguesNo need to believe in horoscopes to benefit from this episode! The zodiac framework simply provides a safe, amusing way to explore coping mechanisms and interpersonal dynamics without pointing fingers.For HR professionals, managers, and anyone navigating workplace relationships, this episode delivers both entertainment and actionable insights for healthier team dynamics.#WorkplaceCulture #ConflictResolution #TeamDynamics #ProfessionalDevelopment #OfficeRelationships #ZodiacSigns #WorkplaceConflict #ManagementSkills #LeadershipTips #CorporateCultureRetryClaude can make mistakes. Please double-check responses.

Friendships at work: Career Plus? Or risk?

Most people don't dread Mondays because they hate their work. They detest Mondays because of the people they have to work with.Somewhere along the way, we bought into the idea that friendships at work are either a distraction or a professional liability. That if we get too close, we'll lose our edge. That keeping things "strictly business" is the path to success.But science (and common sense) says otherwise.Workplace friendships don’t just make Mondays suck less. They build trust, fuel collaboration, and create the kind of psychological safety that actually helps people perform better. And yet, navigating these friendships isn’t always straightforward. This episode is about busting myths, asking hard questions, and figuring out how to cultivate friendships that enhance—not derail—your career. Because let’s be real: You spend more time with your colleagues than your own family. If that time is spent in isolation, something is broken.If you’ve ever felt awkward about workplace friendships, this episode is for you. And if you think you don’t need them, well… maybe it's time to rethink that.#WorkplaceFriendships #PsychologicalSafety #LeadershipOh! don't have an hour to listen to the whole episode?The recap starts at 50min 24sec. You're welcome!SHOW NOTES:[00:01:40] Kickstarting Workplace Connections: The Power of RelationshipsNicole introduces her guest, a seasoned corporate professional turned psychotherapist, who shares her enthusiasm for discussing the benefits of cultivating meaningful relationships at work. "First relations, then know-how."[00:02:42] Unlocking Productivity: Why Work Friendships MatterDiscover how positive relationships at work can enhance productivity, job satisfaction, and overall well-being and why fostering good relationships is crucial for success in any professional setting.[00:04:42] Maximizing Your Work Hours: Turning Colleagues into FriendsExplore the significance of the time spent at work and how it can be an opportunity to build lasting friendships.[00:08:26] Navigating Work Friendships: The Art of Balancing ProfessionalismLearn how to differentiate between work friends and personal friends, and how these relationships can evolve over time.Natalia and Nicole discuss the importance of being mindful about what you share with work colleagues and understanding the specific setting of work relationships.[00:12:28] The Double-Edged Sword: Mixing Personal and Professional LivesDiscover the potential risks and rewards of working with friends and the importance of clear communication and boundaries.[00:19:21] Building a Safe Space: The Key to Team SuccessNatalia discusses the importance of building psychological safety in teams and how it can be achieved through regular check-ins and understanding team dynamics.[00:26:47] Discover Your Strengths: The Gallup TestGet an in-depth explanation of the Gallup test and how it focuses on individuals' talents rather than weaknesses.[00:30:50] Busting Myths: The Truth About Workplace FriendshipsNicole and Natalia debunk several myths about friendships at work[00:35:57] Spotting Red Flags: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Workplace FriendshipsGain insights on how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy workplace friendships.[00:42:59] Overcoming Friendship Challenges: Tips for Building ConnectionsLearn how to overcome struggles in making friends at work, such as initiating conversations and asking personal questions.[00:47:59] Wrapping Up: The Future of Workplace FriendshipsNicole summarizes the key points discussed in the episode and encourages listeners to apply the insights to their own workplace relationships.